Time to kick this back off! But before moving on, reasons I stopped writing for a year plus:
1) Work schedule. I went from working in the office to being on board a ship for several months, including a couple of underway periods. I went back to working in the office around June, but it still made an impact, and I'm a creature of habit.
2) Lack of poly-related activities. This stems from the above, in part at least. By the time June had rolled around, Susan and I were back to living a monogamous life, while dreaming of a poly world. More to come on that, but it felt like if there wasn't really a search, and there were no issues, then it was pointless to write.
3) Felt like me whining a lot. Reading back over old posts, it's not, but as I was writing, it really did seem as if I was just pissing and moaning over a lack of a girlfriend.
So where am I now? Cue the year in review!
January - May (it all blurs together, really)
Susan and Ryan broke up. Susan said afterwards that nearly all of her relationships have fallen apart at about the 6 month mark; only two have lasted past that. The first was her disastrous marriage to her first husband, and that most likely was only due to the fact that he did actually make a good showing after her car accident. The second, was me. With Ryan, it was enough time for her to decide that she didn't like driving up to meet him, didn't like the fact that he [b]never[/b] opened up at all about his life, and generally just didn't want to be around him any more. I felt sad for her, but more because of the loss of the relationship than for who it was with.
I didn't really see Trina very much during this time, due to work; though I did make an effort when possible. We had a Super Bowl party, and generally pigged out on, oh, everything...including homemade wings! During this time, though, Trina's husband...I forget if he has an alias, but for now he's Toby...came back from his deployment and left the military. Well, mostly...he's in the reserves now. We met, and after an awkward first meeting or two (aren't they always?) seemed to settle into being able to be around each other fairly comfortably.
The good thing is that he also likes to play games. Yay! I love Susan, a lot, but as I've mentioned, she doesn't like playing very many games. I grew up in a household where competition over games was fierce, and have always mourned the fact that I really didn't have anyone to play with. Trina and Toby both like to play, though, so now I had both a reason to meet up with them as a couple and something to do that wasn't just staring at the boob tube.
June-July
Re-learned what relaxation was like, after coming off the ship and going back into the office. I was able to start seeing Trina roughly twice a week, as we pretty firmly settled into "friends" roles. She'd come over to our place mid-week, and I'd visit them Friday or Saturday nights. Also during this time, Trina's little sister, Terry, came to live with them. She's about 16 or so, does not resemble her sister in any fashion, but does make a good fourth person for pretty much all of the games we play.
August-September
Major promotion for me; had to go through extensive training for the new rank, which meant a LOT of time spent not being home. I didn't see Trina (or Toby or Terry, for that matter) hardly at all during this time.
Late September-November
So here's where things took an interesting turn for a while. Sometime shortly after I finished recuperating from a rather hellish six weeks or so of training, I visited Trina's and brought my youngling with me to play with her son. Rather than the usual board or card games, Trina wanted to go out to a bar, and wanted me to get drunk with her. Toby was rather amused at this, and volunteered to be the DD. So we went out to the local dive bar on the beach they kinda liked, and she and I proceeded to get...not plastered, but definitely not sober either. By then, it was well past dark and there was a beach right there...so we had to go visit it and soak our feet in the shallow water. Which led to Toby and I holding her up so she could get her ass kicked by the waves.
We got back to her place around one AM or so, still fairly drunk, but plastered with sand and salt water. She declared a need for a shower, so off she went. I stood in the kitchen and shivered for a while, and once she got out it was my turn. Except that once I did, both Trina [i]and[/i] Toby said, "Well, why didn't you join her?" Opportunity lost, I guess. We had a really intense, but really short, makeout session somewhere in there, but I ended up passing out on the couch.
About a month or two later, I'd gone over with the youngling again (this became fairly routine, as she and Trina's son finally learned how to be around each other without killing each other) with the intention of leaving by 10pm or so. Except that shortly after I got there, Trina and Toby were both desiring alcohol. I walked with them, discovered they had tequila and limes at the local package store, and decided to join them after they said I could crash. I made sure Susan knew what was about to happen; she had no problem with it. I ended up not really getting drunk, even though I finished about half of the bottle...I guess I spaced it out too much, ate enough food, the whole works.
Halfway through the evening, Trina and I had a conversation about why things hadn't gone further between us; I pointed out that she had pulled back from our flirtatious interactions, and she realized that she'd done that after another relationship over the spring/summer had ended rather suddenly. She revealed to me that she still had some feelings for me, and about that time Toby appeared, so he got dragged into the conversation. He was pretty supportive of whatever happened between us.
During the course of the night, Toby got kind of buzzed from what I could tell, but Trina got fairly wasted. They were supposed to be up and out the door by about 8am the next morning for choir practice, so about midnight or so I made damn sure that Trina downed a couple of large glasses of water, then bedtime. I got invited to crash with them instead of on their (formerly our) sofa. I stripped down to my underwear (normally I sleep nude, but felt like some propriety should be kept, especially since they both wear jammies) and settled in on the other side of Trina.
Conversation was muted, in deference to the munchkins (and Terry) sleeping in the bedroom on the other side of the wall, but ranged pretty widely, until the conversation turned sexual. Even then, I thought the conversation had petered out and it was time for sleep...until I realized that there was definitely some action going on! Soon enough, Trina got me involved as well, and I can now scratch "participate in a threesome" off my (non-existent) bucket list.
I felt bad the morning after, though, when Trina woke up sick as fuck. Turns out, she hadn't really eaten [i]anything[/i] the entire previous day, and if it weren't for me making sure she downed a fair amount of water before bed in an attempt to ward off a hangover, she'd have been even worse for wear. I left with my munchkin after waking them up for choir; they were kind of moving when I left. Later I found out that they'd actually made it (albeit late by about 20 mins), but had to leave almost immediately afterwards because Trina was so sick.
That's been the only time I've had sex with her this year, though I've shared her bed with her a few times since, twice alone with her and once with Toby as well. It's been sensual, but not sexual ever since.
December-Now
New Year's Eve was a good night. We invited Trina & Co. over for the night; they brought wine coolers and we all generally enjoyed ourselves. Even Susan stayed downstairs and didn't try to hide at all during the night, like she normally does when there's more than just us in the house. We got a Wii U over the summer, and I bought the family extra controllers and Mario Kart 8, so we had a pretty good time with Mario Kart, Cards Against Humanity, and mocking the New Year's Eve countdown shows. They all crashed on various couches downstairs, and were gone by the time I woke up.
Since the New Year, Susan has had some success on OKC, being able to have two dates in the last couple of weeks. The first one was rather sketchy; she found out that he was "poly"...but not telling his wife that he was on a date, or anything about Susan. Lots of other red flags, and she was very happy to not contact him afterwards. Just last night, though, she was able to go out to an upscale (at least for us) restaurant with a guy who lives about 45 mins or so from our house. She had an absolute blast; they had a 99% match on OKC before, and it seemed to carry over into reality...she's really looking forward to their next date.
Only problem is that she's going to have to work with Trina to make that date a reality...I go back on the ship for a couple months starting next week, and so Trina (or Terry...we've had her babysit as well a couple times so far) will have to watch our youngling on any future dates. our older kid can be left home alone, but the younger one...no. Not happening.
I have about two months of underway time coming up starting the beginning of February, minus a break of about a week in the middle, then five months of deployment starting in May...not looking forward to being gone for that length of time.
So that's where we are now. I've put any search for a partner on hold. I deleted my old OKC account, and started a new one to see if I could get a different set of results. I haven't looked at anyone's profile yet, though, and won't until I get a picture I want to post. My relationship with Trina has become "friends with very infrequent benefits", but I'm able to get along with her whole family, thankfully. Susan is, after a long hiatus, on an upswing. Wonder what the rest of the year holds?
1) Work schedule. I went from working in the office to being on board a ship for several months, including a couple of underway periods. I went back to working in the office around June, but it still made an impact, and I'm a creature of habit.
2) Lack of poly-related activities. This stems from the above, in part at least. By the time June had rolled around, Susan and I were back to living a monogamous life, while dreaming of a poly world. More to come on that, but it felt like if there wasn't really a search, and there were no issues, then it was pointless to write.
3) Felt like me whining a lot. Reading back over old posts, it's not, but as I was writing, it really did seem as if I was just pissing and moaning over a lack of a girlfriend.
So where am I now? Cue the year in review!
January - May (it all blurs together, really)
Susan and Ryan broke up. Susan said afterwards that nearly all of her relationships have fallen apart at about the 6 month mark; only two have lasted past that. The first was her disastrous marriage to her first husband, and that most likely was only due to the fact that he did actually make a good showing after her car accident. The second, was me. With Ryan, it was enough time for her to decide that she didn't like driving up to meet him, didn't like the fact that he [b]never[/b] opened up at all about his life, and generally just didn't want to be around him any more. I felt sad for her, but more because of the loss of the relationship than for who it was with.
I didn't really see Trina very much during this time, due to work; though I did make an effort when possible. We had a Super Bowl party, and generally pigged out on, oh, everything...including homemade wings! During this time, though, Trina's husband...I forget if he has an alias, but for now he's Toby...came back from his deployment and left the military. Well, mostly...he's in the reserves now. We met, and after an awkward first meeting or two (aren't they always?) seemed to settle into being able to be around each other fairly comfortably.
The good thing is that he also likes to play games. Yay! I love Susan, a lot, but as I've mentioned, she doesn't like playing very many games. I grew up in a household where competition over games was fierce, and have always mourned the fact that I really didn't have anyone to play with. Trina and Toby both like to play, though, so now I had both a reason to meet up with them as a couple and something to do that wasn't just staring at the boob tube.
June-July
Re-learned what relaxation was like, after coming off the ship and going back into the office. I was able to start seeing Trina roughly twice a week, as we pretty firmly settled into "friends" roles. She'd come over to our place mid-week, and I'd visit them Friday or Saturday nights. Also during this time, Trina's little sister, Terry, came to live with them. She's about 16 or so, does not resemble her sister in any fashion, but does make a good fourth person for pretty much all of the games we play.
August-September
Major promotion for me; had to go through extensive training for the new rank, which meant a LOT of time spent not being home. I didn't see Trina (or Toby or Terry, for that matter) hardly at all during this time.
Late September-November
So here's where things took an interesting turn for a while. Sometime shortly after I finished recuperating from a rather hellish six weeks or so of training, I visited Trina's and brought my youngling with me to play with her son. Rather than the usual board or card games, Trina wanted to go out to a bar, and wanted me to get drunk with her. Toby was rather amused at this, and volunteered to be the DD. So we went out to the local dive bar on the beach they kinda liked, and she and I proceeded to get...not plastered, but definitely not sober either. By then, it was well past dark and there was a beach right there...so we had to go visit it and soak our feet in the shallow water. Which led to Toby and I holding her up so she could get her ass kicked by the waves.
We got back to her place around one AM or so, still fairly drunk, but plastered with sand and salt water. She declared a need for a shower, so off she went. I stood in the kitchen and shivered for a while, and once she got out it was my turn. Except that once I did, both Trina [i]and[/i] Toby said, "Well, why didn't you join her?" Opportunity lost, I guess. We had a really intense, but really short, makeout session somewhere in there, but I ended up passing out on the couch.
About a month or two later, I'd gone over with the youngling again (this became fairly routine, as she and Trina's son finally learned how to be around each other without killing each other) with the intention of leaving by 10pm or so. Except that shortly after I got there, Trina and Toby were both desiring alcohol. I walked with them, discovered they had tequila and limes at the local package store, and decided to join them after they said I could crash. I made sure Susan knew what was about to happen; she had no problem with it. I ended up not really getting drunk, even though I finished about half of the bottle...I guess I spaced it out too much, ate enough food, the whole works.
Halfway through the evening, Trina and I had a conversation about why things hadn't gone further between us; I pointed out that she had pulled back from our flirtatious interactions, and she realized that she'd done that after another relationship over the spring/summer had ended rather suddenly. She revealed to me that she still had some feelings for me, and about that time Toby appeared, so he got dragged into the conversation. He was pretty supportive of whatever happened between us.
During the course of the night, Toby got kind of buzzed from what I could tell, but Trina got fairly wasted. They were supposed to be up and out the door by about 8am the next morning for choir practice, so about midnight or so I made damn sure that Trina downed a couple of large glasses of water, then bedtime. I got invited to crash with them instead of on their (formerly our) sofa. I stripped down to my underwear (normally I sleep nude, but felt like some propriety should be kept, especially since they both wear jammies) and settled in on the other side of Trina.
Conversation was muted, in deference to the munchkins (and Terry) sleeping in the bedroom on the other side of the wall, but ranged pretty widely, until the conversation turned sexual. Even then, I thought the conversation had petered out and it was time for sleep...until I realized that there was definitely some action going on! Soon enough, Trina got me involved as well, and I can now scratch "participate in a threesome" off my (non-existent) bucket list.
I felt bad the morning after, though, when Trina woke up sick as fuck. Turns out, she hadn't really eaten [i]anything[/i] the entire previous day, and if it weren't for me making sure she downed a fair amount of water before bed in an attempt to ward off a hangover, she'd have been even worse for wear. I left with my munchkin after waking them up for choir; they were kind of moving when I left. Later I found out that they'd actually made it (albeit late by about 20 mins), but had to leave almost immediately afterwards because Trina was so sick.
That's been the only time I've had sex with her this year, though I've shared her bed with her a few times since, twice alone with her and once with Toby as well. It's been sensual, but not sexual ever since.
December-Now
New Year's Eve was a good night. We invited Trina & Co. over for the night; they brought wine coolers and we all generally enjoyed ourselves. Even Susan stayed downstairs and didn't try to hide at all during the night, like she normally does when there's more than just us in the house. We got a Wii U over the summer, and I bought the family extra controllers and Mario Kart 8, so we had a pretty good time with Mario Kart, Cards Against Humanity, and mocking the New Year's Eve countdown shows. They all crashed on various couches downstairs, and were gone by the time I woke up.
Since the New Year, Susan has had some success on OKC, being able to have two dates in the last couple of weeks. The first one was rather sketchy; she found out that he was "poly"...but not telling his wife that he was on a date, or anything about Susan. Lots of other red flags, and she was very happy to not contact him afterwards. Just last night, though, she was able to go out to an upscale (at least for us) restaurant with a guy who lives about 45 mins or so from our house. She had an absolute blast; they had a 99% match on OKC before, and it seemed to carry over into reality...she's really looking forward to their next date.
Only problem is that she's going to have to work with Trina to make that date a reality...I go back on the ship for a couple months starting next week, and so Trina (or Terry...we've had her babysit as well a couple times so far) will have to watch our youngling on any future dates. our older kid can be left home alone, but the younger one...no. Not happening.
I have about two months of underway time coming up starting the beginning of February, minus a break of about a week in the middle, then five months of deployment starting in May...not looking forward to being gone for that length of time.
So that's where we are now. I've put any search for a partner on hold. I deleted my old OKC account, and started a new one to see if I could get a different set of results. I haven't looked at anyone's profile yet, though, and won't until I get a picture I want to post. My relationship with Trina has become "friends with very infrequent benefits", but I'm able to get along with her whole family, thankfully. Susan is, after a long hiatus, on an upswing. Wonder what the rest of the year holds?
