Wednesday morning was good in a few ways. It felt good to wake up to a normal household after the loss of power the previous couple of days, and there was a sense of normalcy. By this time, any anxiety I felt about having people in the house had bled off (for me at least).
By now, the four of us had already had several discussions over the prospect of us all moving in together. I'm not sure when it was raised, but I do know at one point, the idea went from "if we move" to "no matter if we stay or go", and that felt freeing...it means that there's less of a burden on me to pick orders I wouldn't take otherwise, just to be able to have everyone in the same house.
Wednesday was more of the same; some group, some one-on-one. Trina and I continued to steal quick moments here and there, but didn't really get alone time. I wasn't sure that they wanted it, to be honest, and I was content to take things slower. That was also a pizza night, so I broke out the pizza stone and did up individual pizzas for everyone. I wish our oven got hotter, but what can you do?
At one point Wednesday, Susan came to me for comfort and support, with some crying as her emotions overwhelmed her. Nothing too horrible, but slightly disconcerting, as she hadn't been like this in a long time, especially about poly relationships.
Thursday was our designated "early Thanksgiving", and as soon as I woke up, I hit the kitchen and began prepwork. First came the desserts...a cheesecake and a pumpkin pie! I needed to get those in and done so that they could chill in time for dinner. I also made a chart of everything I planned on making, so that I didn't forget anything. It only takes one year of forgetting the rolls and the deviled eggs to make you give yourself a reminder!
The rest of the dinner prep went smoothly; I got Trina to help with a few things, and even stayed ahead of the dishes for the most part. The turkey went in a touch later than I had intended, and ended up needing to be cranked up to complete, but it turned out delicious as well. Overall, dinner was a success. It also means that I'm only going to do a few things for Thanksgiving proper, in a few weeks, since we just had the full deal. I might do cornish game hens, instead.
Thursday evening, and at the request of Trina, I broke out the violet wand. They'd gotten a small taste of it...Saturday night? Before the outage, at any rate, because they wanted another shot at it. So the two of us headed down to my bedroom, shortly followed by Susan and Toby. In the end, well all got plenty of entertainment over the violet wand's reverse function. Don't remember what it's called, but basically it's an extension that the recipient either grabs onto or has tied into place against their skin. It doesn't cause shock by itself, but anyone else who touches that person will end up zapping them...think static electricity, writ kinda large.
Eventually though, we turned it off and laid down across the bed. I was on the end, Trina on the inside of me, then Toby and finally Susan on the far side. It didn't take long for Trina and I to start kissing and groping each other. Mildly, and clothes were still on, but still. Susan tried making out with Toby for a minute, and I saw her eyes peek over his body, but within just a few minutes, she left to go use the bathroom.
Susan did tell this to Toby, but kept her voice down, specifically so it wouldn't interrupt us. Yeeeah, okay. When she came back, she gathered her things, told us that she didn't mind, but that she just couldn't handle watching it at that moment. She also mentioned the fact that she knew that Trina and I hadn't had any chance to be alone, so she was giving us space.
I was torn between going after her to speak to her, or taking her at her word and staying. Trina just looked over at Toby, who'd remained quiet throughout all of this, and said, "I don't know how to say this politely, but could you give us some space as well?"
They have a different relationship than Susan and I do (well, doesn't everyone?) But I could never have said that to Susan...I felt bad for Toby. Buuuut, there was Trina right there, and we *did* have time to spend alone together now...
So we talked. We talked about things we hadn't had the chance to yet, and they revealed that they'd been going out of their mind with the fact that the two of us hadn't had that chance for alone time. I don't know if it's a self-esteem issue, or what, but I almost couldn't believe it. The clothes stayed on, and we didn't really do that much more kissing, but we did enjoy the chance to be close and alone together. A couple of hours later, both Susan and Toby showed back up, within the space of about five minutes of each other. We all talked together; Susan had composed herself and cleared the air...turns out she really had meant what she said! By this time, though, it was nearly 1am, and both of them were getting sleepy. Trina and Toby headed off to the guest bedroom, and Susan and I ended up staying awake until nearly 3am talking...and more, of course.
One of the things Trina and I discussed, and then I confirmed with Susan afterwards, was the desire to spend an evening out together. The next morning, after I finally surfaced and woke up, I did some digging. I found an Escape Room in the city, about 40 minutes away. I'd never done one, but I knew Susan wouldn't really be interested in them based upon prior conversations. So I pitched it to Trina, trying to tell them what it was about. At that point, Trina didn't care, so early in the evening we packed ourselves off to downtown. We found a coffee house, got Trina some caffeine so they didn't pass out on me, and played some Scrabble while waiting for the next opening for the escape room.
The rest of the evening was a blast...we found the place without much difficulty (better signs though people, come on!) and we both enjoyed the game immensely. Trina liked it even more once they figured out what the game actually was! We missed solving the puzzle in time by less than a minute, but we did solve everything and didn't have to be let out, so yay!
Unfortunately, by the time it was over, the rest of downtown was shutting down. Our area also lacks places to go just wander around, so we headed back home. Once we got back, we both checked in with our respective partners, then headed out to the couch out in the living room to just enjoy more alone time together.
Through our discussions Thursday night and Friday, the two of us realized that we each cared for the other far more than we realized. In Trina's words, they had been prepared to mourn the loss of our friendship when we moved away. Even coming out here, Trina just wasn't sure what to expect, and neither was I.
Trina had many hangups about me through the years. Rereading my own journal here reminded me of a few of them, but there were some that never got written down. I don't know why, but all of her hangups regarding me have mostly resolved themselves. They're still there, of course, but they don't seem to matter as much any more.
Trina also told me that they were starting to embrace their queer side. We had a couple of discussions over what that meant, as far as Trina alone and then the two of us together. Pronouns are an issue for Trina, as "she, her, hers" has never felt right. There's not a specific pronoun or set of pronouns that are desired over any other, but I find it far more comfortable to use the singular "they" (as you've seen here the last couple of posts) than any of the other non-binary pronouns that have surfaced over the years. They're also willing to be understanding, and to let me (and Susan as well)...practice? without fear of fucking it up. It's hard, but Susan and I are both catching ourselves, and correcting ourselves, and trying to make it work in our own heads.
We also discussed Trina's (current) unwillingness to use any kind of hormone therapy. I'll be honest, and I told them this; I can handle Trina embracing their...androgyny, semi-masculinity, whatever they want to call it. I will support Trina in whatever they do, but I'm not sure that I could be intimate with someone undergoing hormone therapy, or permanent gender reassignment. That's on me...I am very much cis-male, and very hetero...and there's lines that I don't think I can cross for myself. Trina likened hormone treatment to a second puberty, and since the first was a bitch enough for them, there's no foreseeable plans to formally try for that. I can deal with that.
Saturday morning and early afternoon was spent outside. The four of us traipsed outside, where Trina and Toby built a firepit, and then the three of us built a fire (Susan watched and cheered us on). While we were doing this, the four of us also discussed the prospect of moving in with each other, regardless of location, and what that would mean for all of us, including the kids.
We also covered a lot of ground as far as jealousies, expectations, who's going to be the ones actually househunting (Susan and Trina), and I got Toby to open up a bit about his side of the story. Essentially, at least from his words, he doesn't mind the thought of losing time with Trina to me, because he needs a lot more alone time than what he currently gets. Trina's take was that it'd be almost a relief for him to have Trina able to have someone else to pester!
He does also have another relationship, a long-distance one. He entered into it about the same time Trina and I first met, but since he left the service and moved away from his base, he's never has a chance to see her since. There's a lot there that's been left unsaid for now, but he is dealing with his own set of "what's fair" there - the fact that he's seriously talking about moving in with his partner's partner, when he hasn't been able to see his other partner at all in nearly four years.
It's tough. I feel for him, and I feel for Susan. On the plus side, we're all friendly with each other even outside of the relationship Trina and I have started to expand upon, and we all genuinely like being around each other. The week that was worked as kind of a test-run for living together, and through all of the disturbances, through all of the shifts, we all still feel like it's a good idea. An old saying exists, that says "Fish and house guests start to smell after three days"...well, not these guests....they're family!
Their departure was set for the evening, so in mid-afternoon, the four of us and their son bundled off into my car to take them back to the airport. Not much of substance was said on the way out, but it was one time I was thankful for a long drive. Again, due to the traffic at the airport, we didn't have the chance for a long goodbye...probably just as well. Before I knew it, they had disappeared inside, and I was weaving back into traffic to come home.
By now, the four of us had already had several discussions over the prospect of us all moving in together. I'm not sure when it was raised, but I do know at one point, the idea went from "if we move" to "no matter if we stay or go", and that felt freeing...it means that there's less of a burden on me to pick orders I wouldn't take otherwise, just to be able to have everyone in the same house.
Wednesday was more of the same; some group, some one-on-one. Trina and I continued to steal quick moments here and there, but didn't really get alone time. I wasn't sure that they wanted it, to be honest, and I was content to take things slower. That was also a pizza night, so I broke out the pizza stone and did up individual pizzas for everyone. I wish our oven got hotter, but what can you do?
At one point Wednesday, Susan came to me for comfort and support, with some crying as her emotions overwhelmed her. Nothing too horrible, but slightly disconcerting, as she hadn't been like this in a long time, especially about poly relationships.
Thursday was our designated "early Thanksgiving", and as soon as I woke up, I hit the kitchen and began prepwork. First came the desserts...a cheesecake and a pumpkin pie! I needed to get those in and done so that they could chill in time for dinner. I also made a chart of everything I planned on making, so that I didn't forget anything. It only takes one year of forgetting the rolls and the deviled eggs to make you give yourself a reminder!
The rest of the dinner prep went smoothly; I got Trina to help with a few things, and even stayed ahead of the dishes for the most part. The turkey went in a touch later than I had intended, and ended up needing to be cranked up to complete, but it turned out delicious as well. Overall, dinner was a success. It also means that I'm only going to do a few things for Thanksgiving proper, in a few weeks, since we just had the full deal. I might do cornish game hens, instead.
Thursday evening, and at the request of Trina, I broke out the violet wand. They'd gotten a small taste of it...Saturday night? Before the outage, at any rate, because they wanted another shot at it. So the two of us headed down to my bedroom, shortly followed by Susan and Toby. In the end, well all got plenty of entertainment over the violet wand's reverse function. Don't remember what it's called, but basically it's an extension that the recipient either grabs onto or has tied into place against their skin. It doesn't cause shock by itself, but anyone else who touches that person will end up zapping them...think static electricity, writ kinda large.
Eventually though, we turned it off and laid down across the bed. I was on the end, Trina on the inside of me, then Toby and finally Susan on the far side. It didn't take long for Trina and I to start kissing and groping each other. Mildly, and clothes were still on, but still. Susan tried making out with Toby for a minute, and I saw her eyes peek over his body, but within just a few minutes, she left to go use the bathroom.
Susan did tell this to Toby, but kept her voice down, specifically so it wouldn't interrupt us. Yeeeah, okay. When she came back, she gathered her things, told us that she didn't mind, but that she just couldn't handle watching it at that moment. She also mentioned the fact that she knew that Trina and I hadn't had any chance to be alone, so she was giving us space.
I was torn between going after her to speak to her, or taking her at her word and staying. Trina just looked over at Toby, who'd remained quiet throughout all of this, and said, "I don't know how to say this politely, but could you give us some space as well?"
They have a different relationship than Susan and I do (well, doesn't everyone?) But I could never have said that to Susan...I felt bad for Toby. Buuuut, there was Trina right there, and we *did* have time to spend alone together now...
So we talked. We talked about things we hadn't had the chance to yet, and they revealed that they'd been going out of their mind with the fact that the two of us hadn't had that chance for alone time. I don't know if it's a self-esteem issue, or what, but I almost couldn't believe it. The clothes stayed on, and we didn't really do that much more kissing, but we did enjoy the chance to be close and alone together. A couple of hours later, both Susan and Toby showed back up, within the space of about five minutes of each other. We all talked together; Susan had composed herself and cleared the air...turns out she really had meant what she said! By this time, though, it was nearly 1am, and both of them were getting sleepy. Trina and Toby headed off to the guest bedroom, and Susan and I ended up staying awake until nearly 3am talking...and more, of course.
One of the things Trina and I discussed, and then I confirmed with Susan afterwards, was the desire to spend an evening out together. The next morning, after I finally surfaced and woke up, I did some digging. I found an Escape Room in the city, about 40 minutes away. I'd never done one, but I knew Susan wouldn't really be interested in them based upon prior conversations. So I pitched it to Trina, trying to tell them what it was about. At that point, Trina didn't care, so early in the evening we packed ourselves off to downtown. We found a coffee house, got Trina some caffeine so they didn't pass out on me, and played some Scrabble while waiting for the next opening for the escape room.
The rest of the evening was a blast...we found the place without much difficulty (better signs though people, come on!) and we both enjoyed the game immensely. Trina liked it even more once they figured out what the game actually was! We missed solving the puzzle in time by less than a minute, but we did solve everything and didn't have to be let out, so yay!
Unfortunately, by the time it was over, the rest of downtown was shutting down. Our area also lacks places to go just wander around, so we headed back home. Once we got back, we both checked in with our respective partners, then headed out to the couch out in the living room to just enjoy more alone time together.
Through our discussions Thursday night and Friday, the two of us realized that we each cared for the other far more than we realized. In Trina's words, they had been prepared to mourn the loss of our friendship when we moved away. Even coming out here, Trina just wasn't sure what to expect, and neither was I.
Trina had many hangups about me through the years. Rereading my own journal here reminded me of a few of them, but there were some that never got written down. I don't know why, but all of her hangups regarding me have mostly resolved themselves. They're still there, of course, but they don't seem to matter as much any more.
Trina also told me that they were starting to embrace their queer side. We had a couple of discussions over what that meant, as far as Trina alone and then the two of us together. Pronouns are an issue for Trina, as "she, her, hers" has never felt right. There's not a specific pronoun or set of pronouns that are desired over any other, but I find it far more comfortable to use the singular "they" (as you've seen here the last couple of posts) than any of the other non-binary pronouns that have surfaced over the years. They're also willing to be understanding, and to let me (and Susan as well)...practice? without fear of fucking it up. It's hard, but Susan and I are both catching ourselves, and correcting ourselves, and trying to make it work in our own heads.
We also discussed Trina's (current) unwillingness to use any kind of hormone therapy. I'll be honest, and I told them this; I can handle Trina embracing their...androgyny, semi-masculinity, whatever they want to call it. I will support Trina in whatever they do, but I'm not sure that I could be intimate with someone undergoing hormone therapy, or permanent gender reassignment. That's on me...I am very much cis-male, and very hetero...and there's lines that I don't think I can cross for myself. Trina likened hormone treatment to a second puberty, and since the first was a bitch enough for them, there's no foreseeable plans to formally try for that. I can deal with that.
Saturday morning and early afternoon was spent outside. The four of us traipsed outside, where Trina and Toby built a firepit, and then the three of us built a fire (Susan watched and cheered us on). While we were doing this, the four of us also discussed the prospect of moving in with each other, regardless of location, and what that would mean for all of us, including the kids.
We also covered a lot of ground as far as jealousies, expectations, who's going to be the ones actually househunting (Susan and Trina), and I got Toby to open up a bit about his side of the story. Essentially, at least from his words, he doesn't mind the thought of losing time with Trina to me, because he needs a lot more alone time than what he currently gets. Trina's take was that it'd be almost a relief for him to have Trina able to have someone else to pester!
He does also have another relationship, a long-distance one. He entered into it about the same time Trina and I first met, but since he left the service and moved away from his base, he's never has a chance to see her since. There's a lot there that's been left unsaid for now, but he is dealing with his own set of "what's fair" there - the fact that he's seriously talking about moving in with his partner's partner, when he hasn't been able to see his other partner at all in nearly four years.
It's tough. I feel for him, and I feel for Susan. On the plus side, we're all friendly with each other even outside of the relationship Trina and I have started to expand upon, and we all genuinely like being around each other. The week that was worked as kind of a test-run for living together, and through all of the disturbances, through all of the shifts, we all still feel like it's a good idea. An old saying exists, that says "Fish and house guests start to smell after three days"...well, not these guests....they're family!
Their departure was set for the evening, so in mid-afternoon, the four of us and their son bundled off into my car to take them back to the airport. Not much of substance was said on the way out, but it was one time I was thankful for a long drive. Again, due to the traffic at the airport, we didn't have the chance for a long goodbye...probably just as well. Before I knew it, they had disappeared inside, and I was weaving back into traffic to come home.
