Susan and Ryan had a good visit with each other, from all I hear. They were able to attend another poly group in his neck of the woods, and for whatever reason closed groups were the bane of their existence during the meeting. Triads or Quads just didn't work, in their eyes. No idea why.
On the home front, Trina did come over. We watched the first movie of the original Star Wars trilogy (or, in her words, the only Star Wars...episodes 1-3 do not exist in her world. I didn't ask about Clone Wars.) She came over late enough that our youngling was already down in bed, and the older one was just about ready for bed as well, so it ended up being a quiet night.
She did forget her table, so no massage for me...sadness. We pretty much stayed cuddled up for the whole movie; her son made it about halfway through the movie and then passed out. He got shifted off to a spare kid mattress, and shortly before midnight we went lights out.
It's been quite some time since I've done a "first night sleeping" with someone new. I'd forgotten how absurdly awkward it can be in some ways, and how hyper aware I am of the other person. As well, Susan and I have, over time, developed this thing where we cuddle until we're about ready to pass out, then retreat to our separate sides of the bed. She's more stable in her sleep (except when she isn't), and I'm an A1 certified night tosser.
So it was kind of a shock to my system to find that Trina was, in another life, a barnacle. I'm exceedingly thankful we didn't try that during the hot nights a couple weeks ago...we'd have just melted into goo. I ended up getting more sleep than she did...and mine wasn't much, at least restful. We woke up about 6ish for good, but spent the next couple of hours just laying in bed and talking before finally giving up the ghost and going downstairs for breakfast and the other two parts of the set.
Trina and I ended up going to dancing again Sunday; it took me about an hour to remember all the stuff I'd forgotten from the first lesson. I had thought there wasn't to be a lesson this time, but was wrong...so everyone was wanting to try some of the new stuff, I'm supposed to be leading the women who are dancing with me, and I'm just drawing complete blanks. We had fun though!
As we were coming up to the place where the dance was being held, though, she made an offhand remark that basically said that it was because I'm military that she doesn't want to go further. Which makes some sense...her husband is getting ready to get out very early next year, and she's disillusioned with it entirely.
But that only goes so far. It's not like I'm planning missions, or am in charge of anything remotely resembling policy. I'd understand it a lot more if we were single, dating with the intention of getting together...many people are just not cut out to be military spouses, and that's fine. But she approaches it, at least from what I can tell, as an active dislike that the military exists. (Political leanings, and that's as far as I'm going with that.)
So it makes her stop and wonder, and second (or fourth) guess herself. How far does she take things with me before her principles bend? How far before something gives? To be fair, she does understand that she is being rather on the fence about things, and has apologized repeatedly. Last night, she came over, and cuddled on the couch with me while watching another movie. For someone who doesn't want to take things to the next level, she was definitely doing a lot of teasing...both of herself and of me. Today, she apologized again for it, and what I told her was this:
If I was single, I might be wanting to push things toward a resolution more. But I'm not, and I am enjoying the journey to wherever this is leading us. Take it for what it is, and have fun with it.
I've basically told her, repeatedly, that I'm not going to force the issue, and that sex is her choice. I think it's starting to sink in that I'm really not going to get upset at her, that I am going to tease right back, and generally just have a good time whenever she's around. She's also going on a date with someone else Saturday (I know this because we're watching her munchkin overnight that night), and hopefully for her sake she gets laid and is able to calm down somewhat. I don't want her making a choice she'll regret just because she needs sex that badly. I'd rather her say no to me entirely, or else come to me because she legitimately wants to be with me.
On the home front, Trina did come over. We watched the first movie of the original Star Wars trilogy (or, in her words, the only Star Wars...episodes 1-3 do not exist in her world. I didn't ask about Clone Wars.) She came over late enough that our youngling was already down in bed, and the older one was just about ready for bed as well, so it ended up being a quiet night.
She did forget her table, so no massage for me...sadness. We pretty much stayed cuddled up for the whole movie; her son made it about halfway through the movie and then passed out. He got shifted off to a spare kid mattress, and shortly before midnight we went lights out.
It's been quite some time since I've done a "first night sleeping" with someone new. I'd forgotten how absurdly awkward it can be in some ways, and how hyper aware I am of the other person. As well, Susan and I have, over time, developed this thing where we cuddle until we're about ready to pass out, then retreat to our separate sides of the bed. She's more stable in her sleep (except when she isn't), and I'm an A1 certified night tosser.
So it was kind of a shock to my system to find that Trina was, in another life, a barnacle. I'm exceedingly thankful we didn't try that during the hot nights a couple weeks ago...we'd have just melted into goo. I ended up getting more sleep than she did...and mine wasn't much, at least restful. We woke up about 6ish for good, but spent the next couple of hours just laying in bed and talking before finally giving up the ghost and going downstairs for breakfast and the other two parts of the set.
Trina and I ended up going to dancing again Sunday; it took me about an hour to remember all the stuff I'd forgotten from the first lesson. I had thought there wasn't to be a lesson this time, but was wrong...so everyone was wanting to try some of the new stuff, I'm supposed to be leading the women who are dancing with me, and I'm just drawing complete blanks. We had fun though!
As we were coming up to the place where the dance was being held, though, she made an offhand remark that basically said that it was because I'm military that she doesn't want to go further. Which makes some sense...her husband is getting ready to get out very early next year, and she's disillusioned with it entirely.
But that only goes so far. It's not like I'm planning missions, or am in charge of anything remotely resembling policy. I'd understand it a lot more if we were single, dating with the intention of getting together...many people are just not cut out to be military spouses, and that's fine. But she approaches it, at least from what I can tell, as an active dislike that the military exists. (Political leanings, and that's as far as I'm going with that.)
So it makes her stop and wonder, and second (or fourth) guess herself. How far does she take things with me before her principles bend? How far before something gives? To be fair, she does understand that she is being rather on the fence about things, and has apologized repeatedly. Last night, she came over, and cuddled on the couch with me while watching another movie. For someone who doesn't want to take things to the next level, she was definitely doing a lot of teasing...both of herself and of me. Today, she apologized again for it, and what I told her was this:
If I was single, I might be wanting to push things toward a resolution more. But I'm not, and I am enjoying the journey to wherever this is leading us. Take it for what it is, and have fun with it.
I've basically told her, repeatedly, that I'm not going to force the issue, and that sex is her choice. I think it's starting to sink in that I'm really not going to get upset at her, that I am going to tease right back, and generally just have a good time whenever she's around. She's also going on a date with someone else Saturday (I know this because we're watching her munchkin overnight that night), and hopefully for her sake she gets laid and is able to calm down somewhat. I don't want her making a choice she'll regret just because she needs sex that badly. I'd rather her say no to me entirely, or else come to me because she legitimately wants to be with me.
