Labor Day weekend saw Ryan down for an overnight visit (Saturday afternoon to Monday morning). We made an event out of it, and invited Trina and her son over as well. For the most part, everyone enjoyed themselves...I made barbecued chicken and everyone fairly well stuffed themselves with food. Ryan and Trina's son were okay around each other, and there weren't any major problems with the kids as a whole, for a change.
Ryan ended up taking my spot in my bed for the duration of his visit. I sleep on my stomach, and all the itchiness meant that I really didn't want to sleep on it. So I ended up sleeping downstairs on our new couch...more comfortable than our old one, but not really a bed replacement. It did, however, mean that I was likely the coolest person in the house. The last week of August is typically the most stifling, and the only week that we really wish we had AC. This year, that extended about a week into September, and in our house, all the hot air rises to the second floor. Being on the ground floor myself, I actually had somewhat of a breeze through the windows. I wasn't going to argue with that!
This last weekend was a busy one. We watched Trina's son on Firday night so she could go out...so thankful that I don't have boys. On Saturday she watched our girls for the evening, so we could go watch a standup comedy show we got free tickets for. Then Sunday she dropped off her kid and the two of us went off to go learn how to swing dance.
I proved that I have absolutely no place on a dance floor (but we're going back this Sunday anyways). Toward the end of the evening, though, and on our way back home, she basically offered up sex. I wasn't really prepared for it, and when she asked how I felt about it, I wasn't really able to say anything but "this is all new to me" and talk about my own lack of history in dating. We followed up the next day; I told her that I had a few reservations...her husband being deployed, logistics of where we'd hook up (she's in a one bedroom apt and her kid sleeps in the same room as her), and then addressing some stuff she'd shared about her own history of sex. Basically, I just needed to work my way through it in my head...and that was enough room that she had second thoughts.
She'd already said she didn't want a true relationship with me, and confirmed that she'd only be friends with benefits at best...I'm not sure how that would work out. But in the time it took me to think about it, she'd already made up her mind to reverse the offer and confirm the friendzone.
Then last night we were texting back and forth, and she made the comment that she was "going to explode if she didn't get laid. If I was interested." Now, there's two ways to take that...we were, admittedly, discussing some TMI stuff prior to. It could have been construed as the obvious, "are you interested in sex?" or also as "just in case you wanted to know what I'm going through, here's what I'm feeling." Guess which one it ended up being? There was further conversation, where I made the offer to sleep over - we were also making plans to watch movies this weekend, and then she made sure to backtrack and specify that she still "does not want a sexual relationship with me right now.''
I have known women who would blow my half of the conversation completely out of the water, and I know guys who would have gotten extremely pissed at seemingly being offered sex and then having it yanked away. There's many, many ways that particular exchange could have made things go downhill very fast...and for both of us, we managed to navigate the miscommunication effectively enough that plans are still on for a movie night sleepover, in bed (since Susan will be visiting Ryan).
And then today she sends me a text offering to bring her massage table to give me a full massage to keep in practice (she actually went to school for that, so it makes sense.) I think she just likes tormenting herself. And me. /facepalm
Ryan ended up taking my spot in my bed for the duration of his visit. I sleep on my stomach, and all the itchiness meant that I really didn't want to sleep on it. So I ended up sleeping downstairs on our new couch...more comfortable than our old one, but not really a bed replacement. It did, however, mean that I was likely the coolest person in the house. The last week of August is typically the most stifling, and the only week that we really wish we had AC. This year, that extended about a week into September, and in our house, all the hot air rises to the second floor. Being on the ground floor myself, I actually had somewhat of a breeze through the windows. I wasn't going to argue with that!
This last weekend was a busy one. We watched Trina's son on Firday night so she could go out...so thankful that I don't have boys. On Saturday she watched our girls for the evening, so we could go watch a standup comedy show we got free tickets for. Then Sunday she dropped off her kid and the two of us went off to go learn how to swing dance.
I proved that I have absolutely no place on a dance floor (but we're going back this Sunday anyways). Toward the end of the evening, though, and on our way back home, she basically offered up sex. I wasn't really prepared for it, and when she asked how I felt about it, I wasn't really able to say anything but "this is all new to me" and talk about my own lack of history in dating. We followed up the next day; I told her that I had a few reservations...her husband being deployed, logistics of where we'd hook up (she's in a one bedroom apt and her kid sleeps in the same room as her), and then addressing some stuff she'd shared about her own history of sex. Basically, I just needed to work my way through it in my head...and that was enough room that she had second thoughts.
She'd already said she didn't want a true relationship with me, and confirmed that she'd only be friends with benefits at best...I'm not sure how that would work out. But in the time it took me to think about it, she'd already made up her mind to reverse the offer and confirm the friendzone.
Then last night we were texting back and forth, and she made the comment that she was "going to explode if she didn't get laid. If I was interested." Now, there's two ways to take that...we were, admittedly, discussing some TMI stuff prior to. It could have been construed as the obvious, "are you interested in sex?" or also as "just in case you wanted to know what I'm going through, here's what I'm feeling." Guess which one it ended up being? There was further conversation, where I made the offer to sleep over - we were also making plans to watch movies this weekend, and then she made sure to backtrack and specify that she still "does not want a sexual relationship with me right now.''
I have known women who would blow my half of the conversation completely out of the water, and I know guys who would have gotten extremely pissed at seemingly being offered sex and then having it yanked away. There's many, many ways that particular exchange could have made things go downhill very fast...and for both of us, we managed to navigate the miscommunication effectively enough that plans are still on for a movie night sleepover, in bed (since Susan will be visiting Ryan).
And then today she sends me a text offering to bring her massage table to give me a full massage to keep in practice (she actually went to school for that, so it makes sense.) I think she just likes tormenting herself. And me. /facepalm
