Where to begin? I could begin at the beginning, but truthfully that was rather messy, ten years in the past, not very exciting, and besides, the wench is dead! Well, okay, she's actually sitting across from me pecking at her own keyboard.
I guess I'll have to jump right into the good stuff. I am very happily married to someone who has, for whatever reason, put up with my foibles and idiosyncrasies over the years without a qualm. A couple of years after we got together, she started to broach the idea of polyamory with me. For many and wildly varied reasons (including a failed attempt with a couple we knew), poly was very quickly put on the back burner...but never quite out of mind.
The kids are older, most of the reasons we had earlier no longer apply, and this past spring and summer we started moving back into the realm of poly. I've gotten older and wiser and, perhaps most importantly, more secure in our relationship. She's gotten herself on an even keel, and our communication on the subject has never been stronger.
So how has it fared? Well, for her things seem to be going great. She's gotten mixed up with a guy she really likes...his only bad point is that he lives about two hours away. This pretty much means that to make it worthwhile, if she goes off to visit him, it pretty much has to be an overnighter. Now, in addition to everything else, I'm military, so the kids are used to me disappearing for anywhere from a night to several months at a time. When SHE does it, however, you can see the confusion on their faces...like, "wait a minute...something's not right here!" They've handled it well so far though, thank goodness.
We both keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. We had set up an agreement prior to their meeting the first time of "no sex"...on my part it was really just because I wanted to make sure that she was comfortable with him and not just jumping into bed because she could. That hurdle met, they went out an additional time or two, and then the subject was brought up again. As a matter of fact, he insisted on meeting me...not the other way around.
So we set up for a late breakfast, so that I could interact with him on more than a "Hi, My name is Ryan, and I'm off to go jump your wife's bones now" basis. I made bacon, eggs, and pancakes, and while he wasn't in my "instant like" of people, I didn't have any real problems with him. So we enjoyed our meal, some conversation, and then I could tell my wife was starting to get antsy, so I bid adieu to them and they went off on their way for the evening.
I expected to be far more jealous than I actually turned out to be. Really, the only negative for me is that I currently have no local social outlet other than my wife, and with her gone, I get bored very quickly. If I didn't have the kids to worry about, I could head for the poker room at the casino, or go to a coffeeshop, or go on a wombat shaving safari, or something...but alas, kids need baths and food and bedtimes.
That's all well and good for her...as of yet I've gotten exactly zero interaction. I'm just starting out though, and who knows when my luck will change? In the meantime, all I can do is to be there for my wife and be supportive.
I guess I'll have to jump right into the good stuff. I am very happily married to someone who has, for whatever reason, put up with my foibles and idiosyncrasies over the years without a qualm. A couple of years after we got together, she started to broach the idea of polyamory with me. For many and wildly varied reasons (including a failed attempt with a couple we knew), poly was very quickly put on the back burner...but never quite out of mind.
The kids are older, most of the reasons we had earlier no longer apply, and this past spring and summer we started moving back into the realm of poly. I've gotten older and wiser and, perhaps most importantly, more secure in our relationship. She's gotten herself on an even keel, and our communication on the subject has never been stronger.
So how has it fared? Well, for her things seem to be going great. She's gotten mixed up with a guy she really likes...his only bad point is that he lives about two hours away. This pretty much means that to make it worthwhile, if she goes off to visit him, it pretty much has to be an overnighter. Now, in addition to everything else, I'm military, so the kids are used to me disappearing for anywhere from a night to several months at a time. When SHE does it, however, you can see the confusion on their faces...like, "wait a minute...something's not right here!" They've handled it well so far though, thank goodness.
We both keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. We had set up an agreement prior to their meeting the first time of "no sex"...on my part it was really just because I wanted to make sure that she was comfortable with him and not just jumping into bed because she could. That hurdle met, they went out an additional time or two, and then the subject was brought up again. As a matter of fact, he insisted on meeting me...not the other way around.
So we set up for a late breakfast, so that I could interact with him on more than a "Hi, My name is Ryan, and I'm off to go jump your wife's bones now" basis. I made bacon, eggs, and pancakes, and while he wasn't in my "instant like" of people, I didn't have any real problems with him. So we enjoyed our meal, some conversation, and then I could tell my wife was starting to get antsy, so I bid adieu to them and they went off on their way for the evening.
I expected to be far more jealous than I actually turned out to be. Really, the only negative for me is that I currently have no local social outlet other than my wife, and with her gone, I get bored very quickly. If I didn't have the kids to worry about, I could head for the poker room at the casino, or go to a coffeeshop, or go on a wombat shaving safari, or something...but alas, kids need baths and food and bedtimes.
That's all well and good for her...as of yet I've gotten exactly zero interaction. I'm just starting out though, and who knows when my luck will change? In the meantime, all I can do is to be there for my wife and be supportive.
