After the events of the other night, when Trina told me that she didn't really envision us having a sexual relationship (or any relationship that could be considered more than FWB), Susan and I sat up talking of all things poly, at least insofar as they related to us.
Of note, we rehashed ideal body types for me...for once not in a "I'm jealous of the way she looks" discussion. Instead, it turned into a dialogue over why I chose her if my "type" is something that she's not. My response was that looks aren't everything. We just mesh really well, and have ever since we first met. You don't get that with everyone, and it was the one reason I couldn't stay away after she tried to work her previous marriage out.
We moved from there on to ideal matches...Trina is definitely not that, not what I'm looking for long term. And Susan knows that, and was saddened for me when we realized she wouldn't be. As it turns out, what both of us want is a live-in, long term (preferably lifetime) girlfriend for me. Susan wants a boyfriend that lives in the same house, but doesn't necessarily want to share sleeping space with him. Odd, and she doesn't exactly know why, but true.
What she does want, and what matches my desires, is another woman to share our bed...well, a larger bed, really. Which is odd, because both of us are straight...but she wants to cuddle with and around another woman. So, basically, a unicorn who doesn't need to necessarily be attracted to Susan, but can mesh with both of us reasonably well, and doesn't mind coming into a family situation.
I have a feeling my journey for such a match make Odysseus' trek home look like a walk in the park.
___
In other news, Susan and I were invited to a regionally semi-famous poly party a couple of weeks from now. Trina has graciously agreed to watch our kids overnight, and it'll be the first time Ryan, Susan, and I have gone anywhere all together. There's plans for discussion groups and the like throughout the night. My hope is that the groups are small enough that everyone who wants to contribute actually can.
Our local poly group last month had, for the first time since I started going, more than 15 or so people show...and it ended up being more like fifty! The dynamic of the discussion between my first few times going and that last one was totally and completely different, and I know that many people ended up getting skipped over.
I think the best part of the party is that it specifies that there are children attending, so sexual activities are verboten for the evening. For a first time attending that kind of party, it'll help both of us feel more comfortable, I think. The more I think about it, the more I look forward to attending...and so does Susan!
Of note, we rehashed ideal body types for me...for once not in a "I'm jealous of the way she looks" discussion. Instead, it turned into a dialogue over why I chose her if my "type" is something that she's not. My response was that looks aren't everything. We just mesh really well, and have ever since we first met. You don't get that with everyone, and it was the one reason I couldn't stay away after she tried to work her previous marriage out.
We moved from there on to ideal matches...Trina is definitely not that, not what I'm looking for long term. And Susan knows that, and was saddened for me when we realized she wouldn't be. As it turns out, what both of us want is a live-in, long term (preferably lifetime) girlfriend for me. Susan wants a boyfriend that lives in the same house, but doesn't necessarily want to share sleeping space with him. Odd, and she doesn't exactly know why, but true.
What she does want, and what matches my desires, is another woman to share our bed...well, a larger bed, really. Which is odd, because both of us are straight...but she wants to cuddle with and around another woman. So, basically, a unicorn who doesn't need to necessarily be attracted to Susan, but can mesh with both of us reasonably well, and doesn't mind coming into a family situation.
I have a feeling my journey for such a match make Odysseus' trek home look like a walk in the park.
___
In other news, Susan and I were invited to a regionally semi-famous poly party a couple of weeks from now. Trina has graciously agreed to watch our kids overnight, and it'll be the first time Ryan, Susan, and I have gone anywhere all together. There's plans for discussion groups and the like throughout the night. My hope is that the groups are small enough that everyone who wants to contribute actually can.
Our local poly group last month had, for the first time since I started going, more than 15 or so people show...and it ended up being more like fifty! The dynamic of the discussion between my first few times going and that last one was totally and completely different, and I know that many people ended up getting skipped over.
I think the best part of the party is that it specifies that there are children attending, so sexual activities are verboten for the evening. For a first time attending that kind of party, it'll help both of us feel more comfortable, I think. The more I think about it, the more I look forward to attending...and so does Susan!
