I'm used to treating women like men, for the most part. Certain people are exceptions of course, but only those I have allowed to look at like they are actually women. Like my wife, for instance.
Except for those limited cases, though, I have trained myself over the years to not make a note whether a woman is pretty or not, attractive or not..and this goes quadruple for the women at work. I treat them just like guys...what do I need from this person? What do I need to do *for* this person? Some small talk at work, ignore once the day is over and I'm at home. That's it.
I'm now working in the same division as a woman the same rank as me, who is flipping triggers I had thought long dormant. She's doing nothing really overt, she's just...I don't know, it's little things. In addition to our job, we also work on the same committee for fundraising and the like for our command, and even though eight other people are supposed to be doing stuff for it, it's really just the two of us for the most part. And it's the holiday season, so we're both heavily involved with setting up the command's holiday party, so there's frequently a need for us to be chatting together about plans and actions needing to be taken, etc.
It's really nothing, and I know it is. She's also very happily engaged to another service member, and has shown no real sign of attraction to me, just a bit of mutual respect. And I do respect her; she and I have worked at the same overarching command for the last few years together, though in different areas. It's only been in the last few months that I joined her part of the command. But she's never shown anything but true competence in her job; she's one of the many, many, many women out there who put the lie to the theory that women can't serve well in the military.
But for whatever reason, she's hit my radar. She doesn't know that I'm polyamorous; I've not spoken a whisper to anyone from work about it. I have no plans on acting on any attraction, especially since there's no hint of reciprocity. It's just something I have to deal with; I wasn't expecting to have to start consciously saying to myself, "No, you can't have her. Bad Sailor, no grog for you."
________
In other news, Susan has a new date tonight; no name for him yet. Let's see if he survives tonight before he gets an alias! She's been down hard with a cold for nearly a week; she's feeling better but is still all sniffly. He's also two to three inches shorter than she is, and she has a decided preference for taller guys. Since she's rather tall herself, that means anyone of "average" height ends up being too short for her...but we'll see.
He's also a bit of a complication himself; he's in the military as well, same branch as I am. Neither of us knows what his rank is yet, so I'm not sure how to look at him. I'm hoping to find out from her when she comes home tonight; she figured it'll make for good dinner conversation.
When I brought that last paragraph up to Trina tonight; she responded somewhat negatively to us(me) wanting to know, because she equates "So what is your rank?" to "How much do you make?" I disagree...I'd never take it that way, especially for someone who's made it far enough to retire. Bare minimum, he matches my rank. I only want to know because there is a difference in how to treat him, even if he is retiring.
He also lives 45 minutes away...closer than Ryan, by a fair bit, but far enough that a spontaneous visit really is somewhat of a hassle. Which, admittedly, is looking far down the road...but then again, not really all that far, if you think about it. We'll see what tonight brings, maybe I'll get to name him later this week!
Except for those limited cases, though, I have trained myself over the years to not make a note whether a woman is pretty or not, attractive or not..and this goes quadruple for the women at work. I treat them just like guys...what do I need from this person? What do I need to do *for* this person? Some small talk at work, ignore once the day is over and I'm at home. That's it.
I'm now working in the same division as a woman the same rank as me, who is flipping triggers I had thought long dormant. She's doing nothing really overt, she's just...I don't know, it's little things. In addition to our job, we also work on the same committee for fundraising and the like for our command, and even though eight other people are supposed to be doing stuff for it, it's really just the two of us for the most part. And it's the holiday season, so we're both heavily involved with setting up the command's holiday party, so there's frequently a need for us to be chatting together about plans and actions needing to be taken, etc.
It's really nothing, and I know it is. She's also very happily engaged to another service member, and has shown no real sign of attraction to me, just a bit of mutual respect. And I do respect her; she and I have worked at the same overarching command for the last few years together, though in different areas. It's only been in the last few months that I joined her part of the command. But she's never shown anything but true competence in her job; she's one of the many, many, many women out there who put the lie to the theory that women can't serve well in the military.
But for whatever reason, she's hit my radar. She doesn't know that I'm polyamorous; I've not spoken a whisper to anyone from work about it. I have no plans on acting on any attraction, especially since there's no hint of reciprocity. It's just something I have to deal with; I wasn't expecting to have to start consciously saying to myself, "No, you can't have her. Bad Sailor, no grog for you."
________
In other news, Susan has a new date tonight; no name for him yet. Let's see if he survives tonight before he gets an alias! She's been down hard with a cold for nearly a week; she's feeling better but is still all sniffly. He's also two to three inches shorter than she is, and she has a decided preference for taller guys. Since she's rather tall herself, that means anyone of "average" height ends up being too short for her...but we'll see.
He's also a bit of a complication himself; he's in the military as well, same branch as I am. Neither of us knows what his rank is yet, so I'm not sure how to look at him. I'm hoping to find out from her when she comes home tonight; she figured it'll make for good dinner conversation.
When I brought that last paragraph up to Trina tonight; she responded somewhat negatively to us(me) wanting to know, because she equates "So what is your rank?" to "How much do you make?" I disagree...I'd never take it that way, especially for someone who's made it far enough to retire. Bare minimum, he matches my rank. I only want to know because there is a difference in how to treat him, even if he is retiring.
He also lives 45 minutes away...closer than Ryan, by a fair bit, but far enough that a spontaneous visit really is somewhat of a hassle. Which, admittedly, is looking far down the road...but then again, not really all that far, if you think about it. We'll see what tonight brings, maybe I'll get to name him later this week!
