Yeah, yeah, third blog post in a waking period. Anyway.
I finally bit the bullet and put up a real photo of myself on OKC. Make that two; I put up another one from Halloween of both Susan and I. I've had an eyeball as my photo ever since I made my profile, mostly due to my fear of someone I work with or have worked with recognizing me and making life hell for me in regards to the military.
I've been in for almost fourteen years now; I'm eligible for retirement at twenty. I'm committed through to almost seventeen years; I've spent too much of my life involved with the military to feel blase about the possibility of losing my retirement. I'd be much less worried if I knew what I wanted to be when I grow up...I've waffled over the years of being a teacher, owning my own restaurant, going to school for computer programming, and a whole host of other ideas I've long since forgotten.
Lately, the more realistic idea of continuing to work for the government post-retirement has sat in the pole position. It'll be reliable, sure, if I can get the job. But I'm not sure I'll be in a position to get that kind of job after I get out, and I'm also not sure it'll be any kind of enjoyable if I do. After this long of working simultaneously the easiest and the hardest job I think I could ever do, I really would rather not touch anything even remotely connected to the military in my second career.
If I've learned one thing, though, it's that you don't paint yourself into a corner; allow yourself options instead. Burning bridges may keep you warm and toasty for a bit, but it's a long, cold walk to the next crossing. So I keep around the idea of retiring, then getting a civilian version of whatever job I'm doing when I get out.
But all that's at risk if I get booted unceremoniously. And that's what I fear; options being removed, security taken away. If it was just me, I wouldn't worry so much. Even if it was Susan and I alone, we would muddle through somehow. But it's not. It's Susan and I, and our kids. It's their future, in a way.
In one world, the world I'm hoping for them, they only have to move a couple of times more in their childhood. They'll be able to live in safe neighborhoods, go to good schools, have their own rooms with plenty of room to be themselves, maybe make one or two lifelong friends, have plenty of real food on hand, a snug, tight roof over their heads.
In the other world, the one I fear, they're living the life their mother led for a while, bouncing from place to place to place. They're not getting the education they need because they're never really settled into their school. Their parents are on food stamps, and having to choose between paying the lights or paying the water. And I know that plenty of children come from those environments, and they use that as a drive to push themselves to excel...but I'd really rather avoid that experiment if I could.
So I fear, and I worry. But really, as has been pointed out to me, there's nothing the military can do to me right now. I'm not really dating anyone, and they can't boot me for my profile. It says I'm looking, not that I've found anyone. My profile and Susan's are also linked, so it's fairly obvious that she's pretty accepting of whatever it is I'm looking for. So tonight, the real photos went up. I wonder if I'd had it up from the beginning, if I would have had a much better response to messages sent, or if I would have struck out just as much.
I guess we'll get to see now, won't we?
I finally bit the bullet and put up a real photo of myself on OKC. Make that two; I put up another one from Halloween of both Susan and I. I've had an eyeball as my photo ever since I made my profile, mostly due to my fear of someone I work with or have worked with recognizing me and making life hell for me in regards to the military.
I've been in for almost fourteen years now; I'm eligible for retirement at twenty. I'm committed through to almost seventeen years; I've spent too much of my life involved with the military to feel blase about the possibility of losing my retirement. I'd be much less worried if I knew what I wanted to be when I grow up...I've waffled over the years of being a teacher, owning my own restaurant, going to school for computer programming, and a whole host of other ideas I've long since forgotten.
Lately, the more realistic idea of continuing to work for the government post-retirement has sat in the pole position. It'll be reliable, sure, if I can get the job. But I'm not sure I'll be in a position to get that kind of job after I get out, and I'm also not sure it'll be any kind of enjoyable if I do. After this long of working simultaneously the easiest and the hardest job I think I could ever do, I really would rather not touch anything even remotely connected to the military in my second career.
If I've learned one thing, though, it's that you don't paint yourself into a corner; allow yourself options instead. Burning bridges may keep you warm and toasty for a bit, but it's a long, cold walk to the next crossing. So I keep around the idea of retiring, then getting a civilian version of whatever job I'm doing when I get out.
But all that's at risk if I get booted unceremoniously. And that's what I fear; options being removed, security taken away. If it was just me, I wouldn't worry so much. Even if it was Susan and I alone, we would muddle through somehow. But it's not. It's Susan and I, and our kids. It's their future, in a way.
In one world, the world I'm hoping for them, they only have to move a couple of times more in their childhood. They'll be able to live in safe neighborhoods, go to good schools, have their own rooms with plenty of room to be themselves, maybe make one or two lifelong friends, have plenty of real food on hand, a snug, tight roof over their heads.
In the other world, the one I fear, they're living the life their mother led for a while, bouncing from place to place to place. They're not getting the education they need because they're never really settled into their school. Their parents are on food stamps, and having to choose between paying the lights or paying the water. And I know that plenty of children come from those environments, and they use that as a drive to push themselves to excel...but I'd really rather avoid that experiment if I could.
So I fear, and I worry. But really, as has been pointed out to me, there's nothing the military can do to me right now. I'm not really dating anyone, and they can't boot me for my profile. It says I'm looking, not that I've found anyone. My profile and Susan's are also linked, so it's fairly obvious that she's pretty accepting of whatever it is I'm looking for. So tonight, the real photos went up. I wonder if I'd had it up from the beginning, if I would have had a much better response to messages sent, or if I would have struck out just as much.
I guess we'll get to see now, won't we?
